I am a Mom. For over half of my life now it’s how I’ve identified myself. But something changed after my youngest daughter was born. I suddenly entered the foreign world of being a special needs mom. Suddenly I went from pshht, I got this Mom thing down, to a foreign country filled with therapists, evaluations, neurologists, IEP meetings, attorneys, advocates and community.
I am a Mom. Above all else. It transcends everything else I might be and that title defines me unequivocally. And for 5 years now I have been a special needs Mom. An epilepsy Mom. Epilepsy invaded our lives with dramatic flair on 9/11/09 leaving my otherwise healthy 2 year old crumpled, unresponsive and blue. That was my initiation.
I am a Mom. I cook and clean and work and wipe noses and help with homework and taxi the kids around. I also hug and listen and love my children with a ferocity I didn’t believe myself capable of.
I am a Mom. I am fighting for my child’s right to try a medicine that could be her miracle. I am fighting for the opportunity for my daughter to be healthy. I am fighting for options when the medical community has left us without any. I am driven by love and fear equally. Fear that I may lose my daughter before she gets this chance. Fear that it may not work. Fear that we may never get the opportunity to meet her beneath the haze of pharmaceuticals. Love of her soft cheek snuggled up for a story. Love of her funny quips and imagination. Love of her very existence.
I am a Mom. But I have become an activist. Fighting to end cannabis prohibition for all patients in need and for adults who believe that cannabis is a safer alternative to alcohol.
I am a Mom. Just trying to save her daughter.