Hindsight is 2020

2020 was a memorable year for sure.

This was the year that I lost my job but found myself.

On the eve of transition from 2019 into 2020 I asserted that I didn’t need to make a resolution. I was in love with my life as it was and I was hoping for “no big changes” in the year to come.

I was divorced and happier than I’d ever been, I had a job that made me feel fulfilled and finally felt like I had found the track for my professional career after so many years of mostly being a stay at home mom with a part time job. I was dating. I was exploring new hobbies and traveling. I was empowered and emboldened by the fact that I was balancing work and still being a present SN Mom and feeling proud and accomplished all around. I was ready for more of the same.

And then in a 24 hour period I was laid off and we went into quarantine.

We tried to spread messages of cheer and hope throughout quarantine…

Big changes were definitely coming, whether I wanted them or not.

2020 has been a hard year for so many. I don’t want to invalidate that or minimize the losses.

I feel privileged to say that it hasn’t been our hardest year by far, (2010 gets that distinction if you’re wondering) my family is still in tact and alive. I found a new job that is an even better fit.

Maybe I didn’t realize how isolated we were as a special needs family until others had to isolate and felt such a stark contrast.

Sure we missed some special moments with family and friends this year, but we are accustomed to having to miss things because of seizures so the disappointment that others are experiencing is something we’ve just lived with since Haley’s diagnosis. An acceptance I guess that was hard to come by.

And while I didn’t think I wanted change; I liked my little comfortable corner of the world; what I found when change occurred was that I adapted and grew from the experience. Maybe this Mom and epilepsy and life thing has taught me some valuable lessons after all.

Thanks 2020, for being the year that taught me that every time I attach my happiness or value to any one area of life I make it dependent on that.

Onward I am committed to maintaining happiness without contingencies. That is the hindsight from 2020 that I’m carrying forward.

Today’s message brought to you by: The number 2020 and the letter R for resilience.

Quarantine Christmas

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